The Pandemic Begins
I was 26-years-old living downtown in New York City when it was shut down for Covid. The following two weeks were cinematically apocalyptic. I lived on Houston Street and for days, it was completely empty. No cars, no traffic, no pedestrians.
But what unsettled me more than the silent, empty city was what followed in the months after.
I couldn't believe I was the only one who didn't want a rushed, first-of-its-kind, experimental vaccine. The fact that it was being presented to me as non-optional felt... unAmerican.
Even worse was the fact I was now getting put in the same category as conspiracy theorists and selfish, anti-science fear mongers. As if my concerns about taking an experimental vaccine automatically meant I was some crazed idiot who didn't "trust science"?
It was like, all the sudden I couldn't vocalize my opinion without being put into a category that I knew I didn't belong in. I lost the ability to have open, honest conversations without being seen as ignorant or paranoid.
The fact I felt the need to hide my feelings about this vaccine from my co-workers started to seriously weigh on me. When someone would make a comment about "anti-vaxers" I would play along and laugh as if they weren't talking about me - because I didn't want them to know they were talking about me.
How was it that the people demanding accountability, safety data and consistency from our government were being made into the enemy of the people?
How did we manage to turn the people fighting to ensure our safety into the perceived threats to our safety?
Taking Care of My Covid Patient Dad
In June 2020, I spent two months with my 73-year-old dad in a very confined condo. He'd caught Covid and was the sickest I'd ever seen a person. I slept next to to him for two weeks straight to make sure he didn't stop breathing.
For those 2 months, I was in extremely close contact with him, 24/7, with zero protection, no mask, no hand sanitizer. I accidentally drank after him more than once, and every time I caught myself, I spent the next 24 hours in extreme panic.
But somehow, I never got sick. Never tested positive. Meanwhile, he didn't test negative until 3 months after his first positive (luckily he hasn't tested positive for Covid since).
This whole experience led to some extreme cognitive dissonance for me, between what everyone I interacted with believed, and what I had actually experienced.
I felt certain I wasn't at risk, and considering I never had symptoms, I was pretty sure that I wasn't some silent spreader threat. But to everyone else, that was just a dangerous, uneducated and apparently insane assumption.
As long as I wasn't vaccinated, I was a threat: to you, to your baby, to your grandma, to any 'at risk' individuals, to your travel plans. Regardless of my health, I could be causing a silent mass contamination al-la typhoid Mary if I didn't have the vaccine in my body.
"Why wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry?" seemed to be the common conclusion. Everyone saw you as an absolute buffoon if you thought you had the credentials or intelligence to question "the experts".
My Dog's First And Last Rabies Vaccine
I flew home from in May of 2020 to escape New York City, and when I landed my mom had the bright idea to buy a puppy. This puppy quickly became my quarantine best friend. We spent every evening together on the beach, she was complete muscle and the picture of health.
I was beginning to grow suspicious of vaccines during this time just because of all the ridiculous chatter, but I obviously did not want my baby dying of rabies so against all my instincts I took her to get vaccinated.
Within 24 hours, she had a hard lump the size of a grape on her thigh. It didn't go down for three weeks. After spending 4 hours on Google Scholar reading every single thing I could, I called my vet sobbing crying and demanded that they surgically remove whatever was in my dog's leg before it caused her long term damage.
Before, After
Most adverse events from vaccines are framed as immediate reactions, they either happen right after the vaccine or they don't happen at all. But in reality, some effects may unfold slowly, silently, and only become clinically visible years later.
This is especially true for muscle-related issues, such as muscle damage, denervation, atrophy, or long-term inflammatory processes affecting tissue integrity.
In dogs and cats especially, fibrosarcomas and muscle hardening at injection sites are documented years after vaccines, especially with aluminum adjuvants – like the rabies vaccine.
Trusting "The Science"
It was around this time I started getting really hung up on "the science" I was supposed to be trusting. It seemed so ass-backwards and unscientific.
I quickly realized that it didn't matter if getting the vaccine made sense for me as an individual. Me as an individual no longer had any say in the matter. It wasn't about me, it was about protecting society. It was our duty. It was the responsibility of any good citizen. It didn't matter if the risk outweighed the reward for one person.
We live in a country that has started wars in the name of "protecting the rights and freedoms of citizens", but suddenly every single American citizen and news caster was telling me my rights and freedoms didn't matter when I was endangering peoples lives. As someone who grew up with military parents I had always felt a deep sense of patriotism to my country. But within weeks, the concept of America that existed in my head was no longer the reality.
And what the f happened to my body my choice anyway?
Following r/AskDocs Closely
During the pandemic, I started visiting r/AskDocs more frequently, and it started popping up on my feed more. And once the vaccine started being mandated, I began checking up on the r/AskDocs feed even more. Every now and then I'd screenshot an extremely interesting or detailed post so I could circle back to it.
I started paying more attention to the responses from the verified doctors on the r/AskDocs posts. And more and more often I found myself disagreeing with their conclusions. I didn't have a medical degree, but I felt certain a lot of the symptoms and descriptions they were writing off as 'normal' and 'nothing to worry about' were things that would absolutely worry me and seemed seriously not normal.
Well, as more and more booster shots were pushed, I noticed more and more posts popping up on my feed from perviously health, young and confused individuals. After a few months I found myself taking screenshots of posts almost daily. For every post I screenshotted, I spent hours reading whatever was most recently published on PubMed. The more studies I read, the more significant the posts on Reddit became.
Mind you, I was really only interested in posts made by individuals under 30. My gauge was, if I was experiencing these symptoms, how freaked out would I be? I started seeing certain phrases or descriptors popping up again and again across posts – and they were weirdly specific, like, the phrase "night episodes", "feeling like there's something stuck in my throat for months", "feeling like the ground disappeared beneath me", and so on.
I also started to see posts every day from individuals who were literally begging for help and for any answers, words and phrases like "scared", "desperate", "something is wrong" began popping up every day.
Expanding The Reddit Research
By February 2022, I was fully convinced I was seeing a pattern that was not being recognized by MSM or the "expert" scientists. Almost every person reported the same response from their doctor: "it's probably anxiety". So I started screenshotting more posts, screenshotting more PubMed articles. I began categorizing and building a little case file.
I decided to start a new Reddit account dedicated to following only medical subs. I used the VAERS side effects list to search and find subs. Sometimes they would pop up in a search I would do, sometimes they'd be suggested.
Within a few months I was following the subs addison’s disease, adenomyosis, AFIB, ALS, ALSornot, allergies, ask cardiology, ask docs, autoimmune, autoimmunEncephalitis, autoimmune neurology, ankylosing spondylitis, arthritis, BFS, behcets, bells palsy, blood pressure, BPPV, brain fog, brain cancer, cancer, cardiology, cerebral palsy, cervical_vertigo, chiari, cfs, CFSleaks, chronic illness, chiari, cholesterol, clot survivors, colon cancer, costochondritis, covid positive, crohns disease, CRPS, CSF leaks, cubital tunnel, clot survivors, diabetes, dizziness, diagnose me, DPDR, dystonia, dysautonomia, doctors, ECG, encephalitis, endometriosis, eye sight, eosinophilicE, epilepsy, erythromelalgia, febrile seizures, fibroids, fibromyalgia, FND, gallbladders, GERD, guillain barre, health anxiety, heart palpitations, heart failure, hearing, hematology, hodgkins_lymphoma, IBS, IBD, idiopathic hypersomnia, IgA Nephropathy, IIH, infantile spasms, lexapro, long covid, lymphoma, MCAS, med lab professionals, medicine, mitral valve prolapse, multiple sclerosis, muscle twitch, myasthenia gravis, myocarditis, mystery diagnosis, neuro, neurological disorders, neuropathy, new parents, nursing, occipital neuralgia, DPDR, panic attacks, pathology, paxlovid, pediatrics, pediatric cancer, periods, pneumothorax, pppdizziness, pericarditis, phlebotomy, physicians assistant, POTS, pulmonary hypertension, PVCs, psychosis, read my ECG, rare diseases, residency, radiology, rheumatoid, raynauds, schizophrenia, sinusitis, sleep apnea, small fiber neuropathy, stroke, syncope, TMJ, thrombocytopenia, tinnitus, trigeminal neuralgia, vaccine long hauler, varicocele, visual snow.
A Look At My Reddit Feed
So for three years now, my feed has been entirely filled with individuals in distress or dear or suffering, desperate for help and finding answers nowhere.
And at some point, I felt this inherent need to understand what was going on. There had to be someway to help these thousands of Americans that were progressively feeling worse.
What was actually causing these symptoms? Like at the cellular level, what was happening? I had this insane gut certainty that there had to be a way to make sense of what was going on, I felt certain there was someway to help these people heal. There had to be a way to mitigate these symptoms, if not entirely heal them.
At this point I had read almost everything there was to read about the Covid virus and vaccines on PubMed, but I needed to understand what it was about vaccines that allowed every single vaccine to be capable of causing so many problems. Like encephalitis for example. How was it that every single vaccine in the history of vaccines was found to cause encephalitis?
How did so many different viruses all have the ability to cause this level of infection and damage in the body? How did such different viruses have the ability to cause the exact same thing?
And if modern medicine was so great, why did it feel like every single person on my feed was young and suffering and getting absolutely no direction as to how to heal?
Messaging 2000+ Redditors For Data
Around October of 2022, I began messaging users whose posts fit characteristics of case studies I was reading. Over a year and a half I messaged 2,400+ users before every Reddit account I had got simultaneously banned.
But this allowed me to expand my screenshot databased massively, because at the time people were incredibly sheepish about mentioning the vaccine let along alluding to it being responsible – anyone who dared to connect the vaccine to their symptoms was immediately shut down and reminded that the vaccine could not cause these issues. And even if it did, their issues would be FAR worse had they not been vaccinated.
It also allowed me to have conversations and hear the thoughts of people from all around the country. There were 5 users that I ended up in huge conversations with, and they sent me updates every time they went to the doctors office or got test results back.
I got responses from well over half the people I messaged, the majority of which were all vaccinated. I was pretty shocked at how civil responses were.
Why I'm Writing This
I should add now that my fiancé is vaccinated. As is my sister, her fiancé, my in-laws, my brother, my sister in law, my niece and nephew, all my friends. I say this because I don't want anyone to think all of this was driven by some personal mission to prove something bad about the vaccines. I didn't want my suspicions to be right. I'd received every vaccination up until Covid and never in my life even considered 'questioning science'. I grew up wanting to be a doctor, but I always convinced myself it was too complex for me to fully grasp.
But once I realized the doctors couldn't even tell these patients what was causing this sudden and chronic sickness, it felt like there had to be something that was getting overlooked. And I made it my personal mission in life to figure out what.
I am not over exaggerating when I say this entire side project took over my life. I had no desire to go out on the weekends or watch TV on the weeknights. I could not stop reading medical studies, and every single thing I read just gave me 100 more questions to dig into.
The more I read, the deeper I got into the publications of the past, the more I kept coming across data to the contrary of what our so-called experts were spouting. By 2023, I had this sickening gut feeling that something was seriously wrong here. Not just with the Covid vaccine. In one day alone, I read 68 posts from individuals under 30 years old, all prescribed 5 or more daily medications. And not one of them's health was improving.
I finally came to the conclusion that whatever we're doing, however we are approaching the body and medicine - it isn't working. People aren't healing. And it wasn't just on my Reddit feed.
At first my brain couldn't conceptualize how a vaccine could cause such a wild variety of symptoms and side effects. It seemed impossible that all the conditions above could be blamed on vaccination.
The virus doesn't cause those symptoms, so surely the vaccine couldn't, right? How could a vaccine produce life long issues?
Well, go to Google Scholar and type in "[condition listed above] following vaccination". Like encephalitis. Or Behcet's. Or cholesterol. You can use any of the 90+ subreddits listed above for this search and find thousands of results describing thousands of cases - for every single vaccine.
Even better is that you can use the custom date range to see results from certain periods.
Here are the results before 1930 for 'Encephalitis Vaccination' – there are 2,810 results.
Every single health statistic has gotten exponentially worse in America over the last 50 years. We're dying of cancer at rates of 1 in 3 for men and 1 in 5 for women. At this rate, by 2026 1 out of every 2 American males would receive a cancer diagnosis at some point in their lifetime. That's 50% of the men in this country.
Autism rates are now at 1 in every 26 eleven year olds in America. And the incidence is only increasing. Heart disease, mental illness, autoimmune, multiple sclerosis, diabetes, dementia, arthritis, asthma, Alzheimer's, ALS, infertility, POTS, dysautonomia, depression, ADHD.
1 out of every 2 Americans is disabled. What does our future look like at this trajectory?
If the role of science is to simply the area of knowledge into understandable laws and principles, modern medicine has failed as a science.
The Goal and Purpose of This Website ...
...is to share with you the most important findings from the last 4 years of obsessive, incessant research.
This isn't a few Google searches of research. This is a compilation of data from every reputable source, spanning almost 300 years. From PubMed, to Rockefeller University Press, to WHO and CDC archives, mortality statistics, photographs, newspaper articles, medical journals, senate hearings, VAERS reports, Royal Society of Medicine archives – I have not left one stone unturned.
And I want to walk you through all of it, and show you how you can go find all of the source files yourself. I want you to slowly release all the repeated and meaningless "facts" you've been told about medicine and vaccines and pharmaceutical history, and replace it with the truth.
I'm not doing this to try and deceive you or convince you of my opinions. I am not anti-science and I am not trying to fear monger. I didn't do all of this for money, or notoriety.
I did this because I really just want to let people know they are not doomed to suffer. They are not doomed by bad genes. I believe with all my heart the human body is the most miraculous substance in the universe. I genuinely believe as long as you are alive, you have the ability to heal.
I know that might sound like a wishful and possibly ignorant thing to say, but if you hang along long enough, I feel sure you'll understand why I believe that.
This Reddit Post...
Was my first attempt at summarizing my findings, and the response I got from Redditors made every second of work worthwhile. The comments and messages I got from this post are what inspired me to start this site. So, here is probably the best place to start:
