How I Got Here

The Pandemic Begins

I was 26 and living downtown in New York when it was shut down for Covid. I lived on Houston Street and for days, it was completely empty. No cars, no traffic, no pedestrians. It was cinematically apocalyptic.

But what unsettled me more than the silence and empty city was what followed in the months after.

I couldn't believe I was the only one who didn't want a rushed, first-of-its-kind, experimental mRNA vaccine. The fact that it was being presented to me as non-optional felt... unAmerican.

Even worse was the fact I was now getting put in the same category as conspiracy theorists and selfish, anti-science fear mongers. As if my concerns about taking an experimental vaccine automatically meant I was some crazed idiot who didn't "trust science"?

It was like all the sudden I couldn't vocalize my opinion without being put into a category that I knew I didn't belong in. I lost the ability to have open, honest conversations without being seen as ignorant or paranoid.

The fact I felt the need to hide my concerns about this vaccine from my co-workers started to bother me in a way I had never experienced. When someone would make a comment about "anti-vaxers" I'd feel the need to play along and laugh as if they weren't talking about me - because I didn't want them to know they were talking about me.

I mean, the unvaccinated were literally selfish threats to society. Not up for discussion.

I didn't get it.

How was it that the people demanding accountability, safety data and consistency from our government were being made into the enemy of the people?

How did we manage to turn the people fighting to ensure our safety into the perceived threats to our safety?

My First Experience With Covid: Taking Care Of My Dad

In July of 2020, I spent two months with my 73-year-old dad in a very confined condo. He'd caught Covid and was the sickest I'd ever seen a person. I slept next to to him for two weeks straight to make sure he didn't stop breathing.

For those 2 months, I was in extremely close contact with him, 24/7, with zero protection, no mask, no hand sanitizer. More than once I accidentally drank after him then spent the next 24 hours panicking.

But somehow, I never got sick and never tested positive. Meanwhile, my dad didn't test negative until almost 3 months after his first positive (luckily he hasn't tested positive for Covid since - but this did kick off three years of doctors visits and hospital stays) (I stayed in the hospital with him for three weeks straight - this did absolutely nothing for my faith in the medical model).

My Dog's First (And Last) Rabies Vaccine

I was beginning to grow suspicious of vaccines during this time because of how rushed an forced everything seemed to be.

But when the vet told me they were going to give my puppy her first rabies shot, I didn't have the gall to just say "No, I don't think she'll be the first dog in 24 years to be diagnosed with rabies in our state, the risk doesn't justify the benefit, but thanks".

Within 24 hours, she had a hard lump the size of a grape on her thigh. It didn't go down for three weeks. After spending 4 hours on Google Scholar reading everything, I called my vet crying and asked they remove it before it causes trouble. They reassured me it was totally normal, nothing to worry about.

Today that leg has severe joint degeneration - every other joint in her body is perfect. But that joint, for some reason, is deteriorating quickly from chronic inflammation. There is nothing the vet can do beyond give us pain pills and refer us to a doggie orthopedic surgeon for a metal joint replacement.

Dangerous Thinking

The whole Covid thing created extreme cognitive dissonance for me: what what I had actually experienced, and what everyone I interacted with believed, were two totally separate realities.

I had no reason to think I was at risk, and considering I never had symptoms, I was pretty certain that I wasn't some silent spreader threat.

But to everyone else that was a dangerous, uneducated and apparently insane assumption. As long as I wasn't vaccinated, I was a threat: to you, to your baby, to your grandma, to any 'at risk' individuals, to your travel plans, etc. Regardless of my health, I could be causing a silent mass contamination al-la typhoid Mary if I didn't have the vaccine in my body.

"Why wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry?" seemed to be the common conclusion. Everyone saw you as an absolute buffoon if you thought you had the credentials or intelligence to question "the experts".

Trusting "The Science"

It was around this time I started getting really hung up on "the science" I was supposed to be trusting. It seemed so ass-backwards and unscientific.

I quickly realized that it didn't matter if getting the vaccine made sense for me as an individual. Me as an individual no longer had any say in the matter.

It wasn't about me, it was about protecting society. It was our duty. It was the responsibility of any good citizen. It didn't matter if the risk outweighed the reward for one person.

We live in a country that has started wars in the name of "protecting the rights and freedoms of citizens", but suddenly every single American citizen and news caster was telling me my rights and freedoms didn't matter when I was endangering peoples lives with my freedom to choose what is done to my body.

As someone who grew up with military parents I had always felt a deep sense of patriotism to my country. But within weeks, the concept of America that existed in my head was no longer the reality.

And what the f happened to my body my choice anyway?

Expanding The Reddit Research

By February 2022, I had gathered enough screenshots to confirm patterns aligning with the published literature. So I started screenshotting more posts, screenshotting more PubMed articles. I began categorizing and building a little case files.

I started a new Reddit account dedicated to following medical subs and used the VAERS side effects list to search and find subs:

AFIB, ALS, ALSornot, allergies, ask cardiology, ask docs, autoimmune, autoimmunEncephalitis, autoimmune neurology, ankylosing spondylitis, arthritis, BFS, behcets, bells palsy, blood pressure, BPPV, brain fog, brain cancer, cancer, cardiology, cerebral palsy, cervical_vertigo, chiari, cfs, CFSleaks, chronic illness,  chiari, cholesterol, clot survivors, colon cancer, costochondritis, covid positive, crohns disease, CRPS, CSF leaks, cubital tunnel, clot survivors, diabetes, dizziness, diagnose me, DPDR, dystonia, dysautonomia, doctors, ECG,  encephalitis, endometriosis, eosinophilicE, epilepsy, febrile seizures, fibroids, fibromyalgia, FND, GERD,  guillain barre, health anxiety, heart palpitations, heart failure, hearing, hematology, hodgkins_lymphoma, IBS, IBD, idiopathic hypersomnia, IgA Nephropathy, IIH, infantile spasms, lexapro, long covid, lymphoma, MCAS, med lab professionals, medicine, mitral valve prolapse, multiple sclerosis, muscle twitch, myasthenia gravis, myocarditis, mystery diagnosis, neuro, neurological disorders, neuropathy, new parents, nursing, occipital neuralgia, DPDR, panic attacks, pathology, paxlovid, pediatrics, pediatric cancer, periods, pneumothorax, pppdizziness, pericarditis, phlebotomy, physicians assistant, POTS, pulmonary hypertension, PVCs, psychosis, read my ECG, rare diseases, residency, radiology, rheumatoid, raynauds, schizophrenia, sinusitis, sleep apnea, small fiber neuropathy, stroke, syncope, TMJ, thrombocytopenia, tinnitus, trigeminal neuralgia, vaccine long hauler, varicocele, visual snow

Messaging 2000+ Redditors For Data

Around October of 2022, I began messaging users whose posts fit characteristics of case studies I was reading. Over a year and a half I messaged 2,400+ users before every Reddit account I had got simultaneously banned.

But this allowed me to expand my screenshot databased massively, because at the time people were incredibly sheepish about mentioning the vaccine let along alluding to it being responsible – anyone who dared to connect the vaccine to their symptoms was immediately shut down and reminded that the vaccine could not cause these issues. And even if it did, they were immediately reminded that their issues would be FAR worse had they not been vaccinated.

I got responses from well over half the people I messaged, the majority of which were all vaccinated. I was pretty shocked at how civil responses were. It really allowed me to have conversations with and hear the thoughts from people all around the country. There were even a handful of users that I ended up in huge conversations with, and they sent me updates every time they went to the doctors office or got test results back.

Why I'm Writing This

I should add now that my fiancé (now spouse!) is vaccinated. As is my sister, her fiancé (now spouse!), my in-laws, my brother, my sister-in-law, my niece and nephew, all my friends...

I say all this because I don't want anyone to think all of this was driven by some personal mission to stoke fear. My mission here isn't to prove a problem, it's to work towards a solution.

I'm not exaggerating when I say this entire side project was all I could focus on. I had no desire to go out on the weekends or watch TV on the weeknights. I could not stop reading medical studies, and every single thing I read just gave me 100 more questions to dig into.

I'd received every vaccination up until Covid and never in my life even considered 'questioning science'. I grew up wanting to be a doctor - helping people feel better was something that made me happy.

But reading hundreds of posts from people who are suffering, scared, in pain, in fear, confused, mystified, feeling helpless - really really weighed heavy on my heart. I could not stop imagining every single one of them as myself or my family member. Medicine was not helping them, not giving them answers, not providing any real solutions for healing.

Once you read 50+ posts from people younger than you who are suicidal from the amount of physical suffering they're experiencing, there's no way to ignore what is going on.

And once you read 400+ VAERS reports and cry for the shattered moms and dads who lost their baby within hours of getting them vaccinated, there is no way not to feel certain there is something horribly wrong with the inability to question the authority of medicine.

And once you start pairing thousands of Reddit posts with published literature, a whole bigger picture comes into focus - one that proves without a doubt, our medical professionals are more uncertain than they are certain of anything at all.

Where Are We Going?

Every single health statistic has gotten exponentially worse in America over the last 50 years. We're dying of cancer at rates of 1 in 3 for men and 1 in 5 for women. At this rate, by 2026 1 out of every 2 American males would receive a cancer diagnosis at some point in their lifetime. That's 50% of the men in this country.

Heart disease, mental illness, autoimmune, multiple sclerosis, diabetes, dementia, arthritis, asthma, Alzheimer's, ALS, infertility, POTS, dysautonomia, depression, ADHD... every single one increasing rapidly year over year.

1 out of every 2 Americans is disabled. And if autism continues to rise at the same rates, by 2057 every American child will be autistic.

What does America's future look like with this tragectory?

My Goal In Creating This

...is to share with you the most important findings from the last 4 years of obsessive, incessant research. This isn't a few Google searches of "research". This is a compilation of data from every reputable source spanning 300 years.

From PubMed, to Rockefeller University Press, to WHO and CDC archives, mortality statistics, photographs, newspaper articles, medical journals, senate hearings, VAERS reports, Royal Society of Medicine archives – I have not left one stone unturned.

And I want to walk you through all of it, and show you how you can go find all of it yourself. I want you to slowly release all the repeated and meaningless "facts" you've been told about medicine and vaccines and pharmaceutical history, and replace them with the truth - as told through a history of scientific publications.

I'm not doing this to try and deceive you or convince you of my opinions. I am not anti-science and I am not trying to fear monger. I didn't do all of this for money, or notoriety.

Before You Grab Your Pitchforks...

And you try to paint me as some anti-vax idiot or fear-monger monster, just know babies have been precious to me from day one - I would never do or say anything to put your babies, my family member's babies, or any babies anywhere in the world, at risk.

But to be an informed consumer, you need to know about the real and certain risks that are being ignoring - in favor of false promises of immunity and health.

You are not doomed by bad genes. The human body is the most miraculous substance in the universe.

The Reddit Post That Inspired This Site

This Reddit post was my first attempt at summarizing my findings, and the response I got made every second of work worthwhile. My account, and every other Reddit account I had, got blocked from using Reddit. I can see and save posts, but can't interact in anyway.

The comments and messages I got from this post are really what led me to start this site - I wanted this to be the answer to all the questions I could no longer answer on Reddit.

So, here might be a good place to start:

Otherwise, explore by category or use the stumble upon function in the menu to your left to shuffle content randomly.